This morning, I thought to myself that if there were nothing to pursue, a person would be in despair. If I were to be trapped in a routine that I despise, with no exciting reward or opportunities for self-actualization, I would rather not live at all.
I keep creating this scenario where I finally give up and accept everything that is ordinary if that is my fate. The dull image of doing a job just to survive financially is very daunting. I know the most exciting part for me will be if I can excel in this job and climb the career ladder. But will that be enough to keep going if we are destined to be ordinary and accept everything without giving our best effort?
Something in my brain keeps nudging me, saying, "Life is short anyway." Why not take a risk and flaunt everything? If it's meant to be, it will be.
I've been in this position numerous times, and what somewhat calms me is the fact that there is no such thing as a bad choice - well, unless we live in an alternate universe. But it's true, the choices we make shape who we are today.
But what if I can’t achieve my goals? Did I overestimated myself? Would the idea that the choices I've made have made me a better person be enough? Will I find myself in a worse position for not seizing every opportunity that presents itself now? Or should I cling to persistence and forge my own path?
I have always struggled with low self-esteem, but something inside me still believes in the possibility of achieving something extraordinary.
Should I listen to her or should I give in?
